Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

I have a gun.

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

fancy going halves on a bastard?

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Im gonna rape you..

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!