male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +112

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

thumb_up thumb_down +64

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Does it smell in here or it just you?

thumb_up thumb_down -123

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

"Hmm...you'll do."

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

thumb_up thumb_down +76

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Are you from Wales, because...well...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Give me some sugar... honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

thumb_up thumb_down +30

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!