- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Are you from Wales, because...well...

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book