- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

"Hmm...you'll do."

Give me some sugar... honey.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book