HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Male: Get in the van.

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Im gonna rape you..

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

sex me.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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