You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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So when' the baby due?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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EVERYONE ELSE

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!