This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Welcome to DIE!

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Want to go out? No

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Sex?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Stop Footing Around

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!