Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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sound of zipper

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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I have a gun.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!