- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

This doesn't have to be a rape.

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book