Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Male: Get in the van.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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sex me.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Im gonna rape you..

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!