If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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my dick is 2 inches

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!