Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Lesbihonest

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Sex?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Want to go out? No

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!