So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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why are you you touching me ????

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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