Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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-Do you like me? -No

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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nice kid... want another?

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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