Welcome to DIE!

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Want to go out? No

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Sex?

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!