Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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jack sanders

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Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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