Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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I have a gun.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!