- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

Gaywatch starts

nice kid... want another?

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!