Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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greetings clarisse...

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!