What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

Hey girl! Faggot.

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

I have a gun.

Golf.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

You look exactly like my sister.

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Yeah... you'll have to do.

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!