hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!