Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Golf.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!