guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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So when' the baby due?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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