Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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sex me.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Im gonna rape you..

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!