Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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I have a gun.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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my dick is 2 inches

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!