Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -65

#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

thumb_up thumb_down +14

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +59

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!