He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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-I love you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!