I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Want to go out? No

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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