- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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So when' the baby due?

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!