- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

my dick is 2 inches

thumb_up thumb_down -83

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

thumb_up thumb_down +282

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +183

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!