So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

Hello children! :D

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

Male: Get in the van.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

fancy going halves on a bastard?

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

sex me.

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!