-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Penis. I got it

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Lesbihonest

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!