Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Lesbihonest

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Penis. I got it

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!