MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Lesbihonest

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!