wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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So when' the baby due?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Get in the van.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!