What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Penis. I got it

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!