boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -36

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Welcome to DIE!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

jack sanders

thumb_up thumb_down -72

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

thumb_up thumb_down +183

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

thumb_up thumb_down +47

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +210

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

greetings clarisse...

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!