- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

Business Y U No Advertise?

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Do you want to see something swell?

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book