Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!