- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Gaywatch starts

nice kid... want another?

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book