Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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