- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Jdkfk

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book