- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Business Y U No Advertise?

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book