- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book