Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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