Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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"Next!"

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!