Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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imgonna r@pe you

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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-Get in the Van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!