Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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-Get in the Van

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!