guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Jdkfk

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!