"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Do you live around here often?

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!